Many authors use music for inspiration for writing, scene building, character development, etc. I'm no different and many readers have asked me to post a playlist of the songs I've used while writing.

SPOILER ALERT!!

This page contains MANY spoilers. I've tried to wrap a “twisty” around the spoilers, but I'm not sure I'm going to get them all, so if you don't want anything in the current books you haven't read yet OR in the books coming up in the series, AVOID THIS PAGE. You can always come back here later and read all the goodies after you've read the books.

Bonded By Blood Characters

This playlist is all character development. Evanescence's Fallen album – it's almost as if they wrote these songs with my characters in mind. Please keep in mind, I have had my entire series, for the most part, plotted out through Book 6 and beyond, since at least 2011 when I published Midnight Conquest. Although I had heard the song Bring Me To Life and even thought it would have made a great vampire love song, I had not heard any of the other songs on the CD until this past summer of 2014. This is the wonder of the music in this collection. The more I listened to the songs and dove into the lyrics, the more amazed I was at the serendipity of the tunes. In the notes below, I'll detail which character(s) the song refers to and why. I might add some notes to the lyrics for further explanation.

Due to copyright laws, I cannot post the whole song, so below are clips. I highly recommend you purchase the Fallen album. It's a FABULOUS collection of music! The links of the album on this page will take you to Amazon so you can buy the whole CD or just the songs of your choice. 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Going Under“]

Character: Angus Campbell

SPOILER: In my recent release, Midnight Eclipse, I finally reveal why Angus has hated Broderick MacDougal – coming from a very abused upbringing, Angus has always had Broderick shoved in his face as the one who was better than him and Angus was never good enough. How does one climb out of the hole of constant condemnation and judgment, and just for the crime of being born? While you read the lyrics or listen to them, keep in mind how Angus has struggled to create his own identity, but has always drowned in the image of Broderick MacDougal.[/expand]

Going Under

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Going Under“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody & Amy Lee 

Now I will tell you what I've done for you –
50 thousand tears I've cried.
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you –
And you still won't hear me (going under)
Don't want your hand this time – I'll save myself.
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I dive again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies.
(So I don't know what's real)
So I don't know what's real and what's not (don't know what's real and what's not)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I dive again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I…

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)
I won't be broken again (again)
I've got to breathe – I can't keep going under

I dive again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm going under (going under)
I'm going under (drowning in you)
I'm going under[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes on Bring Me To Life“]

Characters: Broderick & Davina; Angus & Kahli

This was the song that had me look closer at this album. When I first heard it playing on the radio, I thought, “What a PERFECT vampire love song!” Davina is indeed a light for Broderick in the darkness and she awakens his soul and brings him to life. SPOILER: But this song is even more appropriate for the relationship between Angus Campbell and Mabel Johnson, a.k.a. Kahli, the Spirit Witch introduced at the end of my recent release, Midnight Eclipse. Yep, Angus will also get his own HEA and that's coming in Midnight Savior, Book 5 of the BBB series.[/expand]

Bring Me To Life

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Bring Me To Life“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody & Amy Lee

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Everybody's Fool“]

Character: Malloren Rune

SPOILER: This song is actually from Broderick's point of view as he admonishes Malloren Rune. We first meet Malloren in Midnight Captive, Book 2. She is the prophetess and guardian of the prophecy that drives the storyline throughout the six books of the series. Though he does feel betrayed by her by the end of Book 2, and even more so in Midnight Hunt, Book 3, the depths of this betrayal will not truly be felt until Midnight Deliverer, Book 6. I won't spoil THAT for anyone, but let's just say what Malloren has done will be enough for Rick to want to kill her…and I don't mean that in a figurative or dramatic sense.[/expand]

 Everybody's Fool

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Everybody's Fool“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody & Amy Lee

Perfect by nature.
Icons of self-indulgence.
Just what we all need,
More lies about a world that…

…never was and never will be.
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled.

Look, here she comes now.
Bow down and stare in wonder.
Oh, how we love you.
No flaws when you're pretending.

But now I know she…

…never was and never will be.
You don't know how you've betrayed me.
And somehow you've got everybody fooled.

Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself lost in your lie.

I know the truth now,
I know who you are,
And I don't love you anymore.

It never was and never will be.
You don't know how you've betrayed me.
And somehow you've got everybody fooled.

never was and never will be.
You're not real and you can't save me.
Somehow now you're everybody's fool.[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for My Immortal“]

Character: Broderick MacDougal

SPOILER: I cry every time I hear this song and think about my poor Rick. I know I'm putting him through so much pain by giving him Davina and then taking her away from him…over and over and over again. For the sake of the overall storyline and the true HEA he'll get at the end of Book 6, I must be the cruel writer and continue to torture my beloved vampire. But hang in there, Rick, and my faithful readers…by the time Book 6 comes around, you'll be cheering and crying and rejoicing with Broderick that he will finally get his Davina.

This song exemplifies how Broderick feels after Davina has passed on and he's been without her for a few years. He's dealt with the loss, but is still drowning in living his immortal existence without her. This is especially true between Books 4, 5 & 6. [/expand]

 My Immortal

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for My Immortal“]

by Ben Moody & Amy Lee

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

(Chorus:)
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

(Chorus)

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

(Chorus)

…me, me, me.[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Haunted“]

Character: The Hunger

No spoilers on this one. Most vampires deal with their thirst for blood, and those vampires who have a conscience about it must struggle with the constant threat of taking a life due to their instincts and very nature to survive. Broderick MacDougal is no different. Rick has a love/hate relationship with The Hunger. Feeding is euphoric for both the vampire and the victim, and blood is sweet to my Vamsyrians…not metallic or bitter. It is like a nectar. So part of the war Rick has had in bringing The Hunger under control has been the seduction of the hunt, the drug-like effects of consuming it and the taste. Rick and The Hunger are constantly at battle for dominance. I almost imagine The Hunger as a ferocious jungle cat that Broderick wrestled with early on in his immortality. There were many battles he lost, and therefore lives taken, before he was able to tame the beast and get it under control enough to salve his conscience. But like any wild beast, you can take the cat out of the jungle, but you can take the jungle out of the cat. Rick still struggles to keep The Hunger under control and can never let down his guard.[/expand]

 Haunted

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Haunted“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody & Amy Lee

Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down

Hunting you, I can smell you – alive
Your heart pounding in my head

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me, watching me

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you… loving you
I won't let you pull me down[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Tourniquet“]

Character: The Vamsyrian King

SPOILER: I'm not going to give away too much at this point in time by giving the name of the King. That'll just have to wait for Book 6. But of all the songs in this album, I thought this one did NOT apply to any of my characters. However, as I dug deeper into the experience of the lyrics, I realized this song is indeed The Vamsyrian King bearing his heart on the day he was created as the first vampire and father of this race birthed by Satan. It is this state of mind detailed in this song that drove him to make a deal with the Devil. I don't want to say much more than that, except to let you know that the truth behind these lyrics will finally be revealed in Book 6. I know…I'm such a tease![/expand]

Tourniquet

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Tourniquet“]

by David Hodges, Rocky Gray, Ben Moody & Amy Lee

I tried to kill my pain
But only brought more
So much more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation

Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation

(return to me salvation)

I want to die!!!

My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide

(return to me salvation)
(return to me salvation)[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Imaginary“]

Character: Angus Campbell

SPOILER: This is a SUPER spoiler. If you've read Midnight Captive, you might remember the reaction Angus had when he fed from his henchmen, whose blood was laced with laudanum – he had quite an orgasmic experience…literally. That little ditty I planted way back in Book 2 will finally have purpose in Book 5, Midnight Savior. Due to what Angus learned at the end of Midnight Eclipse, he will have a very hard time dealing with the heartbreaking truth about his parentage and what really happened in his childhood. So much so that he will turn to drugs to cope and escape. Midnight Savior will find Angus Campbell in the opium dens of London. Since alcohol and drugs directly don't have any effect on vampires, I brought laudanum (an opiate) into the storyline, which only has an effect on a vampire if s/he feeds from a victim with the drug in their bloodstream. This was to give Angus a place to hide and heal for a while. This song is most definitely Angus's state of mind and reason for disappearing into his “fields of paper flowers” and opium is from poppies…a flower. I still shake my head at how much these songs fit my characters, their lives, and my storyline.[/expand]

 Imaginary

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Imaginary“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody & Amy Lee

(Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, paper flowers) [X2]

I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops, as they’re falling, tell a story

(Chorus:)
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)

Don’t say I’m out of touch
With this rampant chaos – your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape

(Chorus)

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light

(Chorus)

(Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, paper flowers) X2 [/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Taking Over Me“]

Character: Broderick MacDougal

SPOILER: If My Immortal always makes me cry when I hear the lyrics, this song makes me bawl! This is the hope and despair Broderick feels when he is reunited with his soul mate Davina in her next life…but she doesn't remember him or the love they shared in her previous life/lives. What a heartache to know you've love a soul, have cherish memories of times spent together, tender moments and hardships you've both traversed…but she doesn't remember any of it, save for the fleeting images in her dreams. If you've read all the books in my series so far, I dare you not to read these lyrics and get misty-eyed over Broderick's pain.[/expand]

 Taking Over Me

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Taking Over Me“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody, John LeCompt & Amy Lee

You don't remember me but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do…

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

I look in the mirror and see your face
If I look deep enough
So many things inside that are just like you are taking over

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me

Taking over me
You're taking over me
Taking over me
Taking over me[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Hello“]

Characters: Broderick MacDougal & Mabel Johnson a.k.a. Kahli

This is most definitely a song about grief and pretty much the immediate stage of denial. When we lose someone so dear to us, we revert into ourselves, and we might hold onto a simple single stimuli in our world to keep us rooted in reality…like the school bell mentioned in the first verse. And we cannot believe our loved one has passed. We put on that smile and try to pretend it didn't happen and hope we wake up from the nightmare of losing them. Obviously, that's Rick every time he loses his Blossom.

SPOILER: But this is also Kahli, my Spirit witch introduced at the end of Midnight Eclipse, and specifically regarding the loss she experiences between Books 4 & 5. You'll find in Book 5 that her mentor, Marie Laveau, meant the world to her and Kahli has a very hard time letting her go…literally. This song is only the beginning for Kahli. The next song is what preceded this experience… [/expand]

 Hello

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Hello“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody & Amy Lee

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for My Last Breath“]

Character: Kahli & Marie Laveau

SPOILER: As mentioned in a couple of songs above, I introduced Mabel Johnson, a.k.a. Kahli a Spirit Elemental, at the end of Midnight Eclipse. The description of how this song relates to Kahli is a spoiler only in that readers will learn about Kahli's loss of Marie Laveau, her mentor, and what that loss means to Kahli. I do not plan at this time to describe Marie's death. However, this song is most certainly describes what happened. Again, I planned Marie's death and knew what it would mean to Kahli before I even listened to this song…and was awestruck by the scene it painted in my mind. Keep in mind that Kahli is a Spirit witch, so she is able to communicate with and control the spirits of the dead.

To be honest, there is a particular line in the song that truthfully cannot say if it was or was not in my subconscious when I wrote the final scene with Kahli and Marie. I have Kahli hiding in the hollow of a tree in the swamps when Marie finds her. Did I put her there because these lyrics were in my brain? I wish I had paid closer attention to them, because I would have made the forest white to match the song! I might still use that in future writings.

I will also make notes in the lyrics as to who is saying what lines. This song is more of a conversation between Kahli and Marie as Marie is dying. So the names added in the lyrics are my doing.[/expand]

My Last Breath

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for My Last Breath“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody & Amy Lee

Kahli: hold on to me love
Marie: you know i can't stay long
Marie: all i wanted to say was, “I love you and I'm not afraid”
Kahli: aaaaahhh!
Marie: can you hear me?
Marie: can you feel me in your arms?

(Chorus: Marie)
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

Marie: i'll miss the winter
Marie: a world of fragile things
Kahli: look for me in the white forest
Kahli: hiding in a hollow tree (come find me) Kahli is stirring her magick
Kahli: i know you hear me
Kahli: i can taste it in your tears

(Chorus: Marie)
Kahli begins her chants

Kahli: Closing your eyes to disappear,
Kahli: You pray your dreams will leave you here;
Kahli: But still you wake and know the truth,
Kahli: No one is there…

Marie: Say goodnight,
Kahli: Don't be afraid, (Kahli is trying to comfort Marie regarding what she is doing – using her powers to hold on to Marie)
Kahli: Calling me, Calling me as you fade to black.

Marie: (Say goodnight) Holding my last breath
Kahli: (Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself
Kahli: (Calling me, calling me) Are all my thoughts of you?
Kahli & Marie: Sweet raptured life, it ends here tonight

(Chorus)

(Holding my last breath)[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Whisper“]

Character: Mabel Johnson, a.k.a. Kahli

SPOILER: I only touch upon what poor Mabel has experienced when I wrote the scene with her and her master and creator, Vamsyrian Jean-Michel Roche. He stole her from her parents when she was just a little girl and before she came into her own powers. The only one who was around to teach her anything about her abilities was Jean-Michel. Though he was able to assist her with her cusp abilities – air and water – he hadn't a clue about her spirit abilities. Imagine seeing ghosts, perhaps in the horrid conditions detailing their deaths, hearing voices…and then being bombarded by those lost spirits when they discovered you could see them and possibly help them with their unfinished business or pass over to the next plane. Not having anyone to ease her through this traumatic experience, she was alone to deal with her own horror film. Rightfully, she was scared to death and might have even thought she was dying. Yet too afraid to take her own life for fear of being trapped like these tortured souls. This song is precious Mabel going through the terror of learning to deal with her abilities, desperately crying for help but not having a single helping hand to pull her from the darkness. After what she does to Jean-Michel, you can imagine what she thought of herself and perhaps understand why she disappeared into the swamps for refuge to become the demon she imagined herself to be.[/expand]

Whisper

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Whisper“]

by David Hodges, Ben Moody & Amy Lee

Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
If I will it all away

(Chorus:)
Spirits: Don't turn away
Kahli: (Don't give in to the pain)
Spirits: Don't try to hide
Kahli: (Though they're screaming your name)
Spirits: Don't close your eyes
Kahli: (God knows what lies behind them)
Spirits: Don't turn out the light
Kahli: (Never sleep never die)

I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
If i will it all away

(Chorus)

Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet the end

(Chorus x3)
Servatis a periculum [save us from danger].
Servatis a maleficum [save us from evil].[/expand]

 

[expand title=”Click to see notes for Together Again“]

Character: Broderick MacDougal

SPOILER: Another song about how Broderick feels about losing Davina. Since this is the majority of the series at this point during my writing, these songs are very prevalent in my soundtrack. I PROMISE I'll be posting other songs that will represent their final reunion at the end of the series, reflecting their ultimate HEA (happily ever after) ending. I imagine Broderick has just lost Davina, perhaps just buried her and he is trying to cling to the hope that they will be together again in her next life. But as the music so aptly captures, it is a very depressing or bittersweet hope. The tune is almost a death march, with its dragging cadence. And then there's the heartbreaking lines at the end, “Maybe this time we can leave our broken world behind. We'll be together again. All just a dream in the end.” I love the double entendre of the dreams, since those have always brought them “home” to each other, but in the end…they're all Rick has to cling to.

This song was on my iTunes download of the entire Fallen album…however, I cannot seem to find the link for it. It must have been a bonus track and no longer available. It is listed as a single. I hope you have better luck at finding it.[/expand]

Together Again

[expand title=”Click to see lyrics for Together Again“]

by Amy Lee

Never thought that I'd be leaving you today
So alone and wondering why I feel this way
So wide the world
Can love remember how to get me home to you
Someday

We'll be together again
All just a dream in the end
We'll be together again

So many fears were swimming around and around in my mind
Who would have dreamed the secrets we would find

I've found a world where love and dreams and darkness all collide
Maybe this time we can leave our broken world behind

We'll be together again
All just a dream in the end[/expand]